Is This Love or Dopamine?: A deeply unofficial study of dating in the digital age

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Is This Love or Dopamine?: A deeply unofficial study of dating in the digital age

Is This Love or Dopamine?: A deeply unofficial study of dating in the digital age

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The evolutionary basis for this stems from our need to reproduce, a need shared among all living things.

In Is This Love or Dopamine, David wades even deeper into the weeds of digital dating, studying the ‘softbois’ and ‘f*ckboys’ of the field while saying something wider about how we look for love in the modern world. And taking a look at how our communication styles have evolved online and how they will continue to in the future. It doesn’t take a matchmaker to see where this is going: Increasing levels of dopamine = euphoria and desire = greater attraction to the object of your affection. Really fun read and i’d highly recommend to anyone looking for a laugh - I think it would also make a lovely gift for any Gen Z friend/anyone on dating apps. It may offer some insights, some interesting observations, but it doesn’t “do” depth – it’s like have just one eye, not two.Known as the "bonding hormone" or the "cuddle chemical," oxytocin is released through many activities, including holding hands and hugging. The continuation of our species depends on our ability to reproduce; therefore, our biology still drives us to find a mate. It’s a neuropeptide produced in the hypothalamus and secreted by the pituitary gland during times of intimacy, like hugging, breastfeeding and orgasm. While lust and attraction are pretty much exclusive to romantic entanglements, attachment mediates friendships, parent-infant bonding, social cordiality, and many other intimacies as well.

It’s natural for levels of dopamine and oxytocin—two primary hormones associated with euphoric feelings of early love—to fade in a romantic relationship over time. And while healthy levels of oxytocin help us bond and feel warm and fuzzy towards our companions, elevated oxytocin can also fuel prejudice. This high level of dopamine makes new love feel extremely rewarding, exciting, and worth pursuing over other things.Your genes don't care whether you and your potential mate have the same taste in TV shows and political attitudes. Very funny, insightful glimpse into a certain kind of mainstream alternative gen z/millenial dating culture. In fact, I may be one of the worst people to be giving advice on this, but the whole thing is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt,” she laughs.

This will, more often than not, turn into what’s known as a situationship, and inevitably meet its demise shortly after.

With all that said, it’s impossible to overlook the epidemic of delusion, manipulation, and fear of commitment that gained softbois their title. Love can be both the best and worst thing for you – it can be the thing that gets us up in the morning, or what makes us never want to wake up again. I've followed David's instagram for awhile now and when she said she was writing a book, I bought it right away but it took me awhile to finally read it. And this is coming from someone who browsed r/seduction while it was still active, which the author (rather justifiably) ridicules. We respectfully acknowledge the ancient cultural presence in the Australian landscape by First Nation peoples and their ongoing traditional and spiritual custodianship of the marine areas, beaches, bush, rivers, lakes and mountains.

and the musicians… and the novelists … and the playwrights … and the dancers… They speak so much more directly to the actual experience of what love is than the chemical messengers that turn this or that “light bulb” on in the complex circuitry of the brain. Learn what to do if someone uses 'teehee' in a sext (run for the hills) or has a photo of themselves holding a massive fish on their profile (run faster). In other words, this hormone is responsible for activity in the brain’s rewards center—the same brain regions associated with drug addiction.

Maybe the only way to preserve our hopes and sanity is by not taking dating seriously, at least until some people learn how to use common sense and be respectful, even if the likelihood seems small. Not that the author is wrong, but they could've also covered the positive and lighthearted side of things instead of just analyzing the wrong and unsuccessful ways to ask for nudes. Iona spends most of the book bringing up topics I so want to dive into and then she goes "too hard for another time wont get into that". This network is so ancient even worms and flies, which evolved about two billion years ago, have a similar reward highway in their primitive systems. Brain scans of people in love have actually shown that the primary “reward” centers of the brain, including the ventral tegmental area and the caudate nucleus, fire like crazy when people are shown a photo of someone they are intensely attracted to, compared to when they are shown someone they feel neutral towards (like an old high school acquaintance).

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